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I’m a burglar. Could you help me out here?

I look for easy targets to rob. I like to break into homes during the daytime. I really don’t want to meet anyone in a home I’ve broken into. Weekdays between 12:30 pm and 2:30 pm is my favorite time. History tells me that it’s the best chance of having people away from the house.

And please keep posting all your vacation trips on social media. I scan the social medias looking for people and pictures of where you are and when you are away for extended periods. Then I can go to older photos and look for the GPS data that’s embedded in those photos to find out where you live.

And please don’t get  a security system. If you have a security system most of the time I will move on to another house. But if you do have a security system, I’d appreciate it if you use a simple code, such as your birthday (social media), or house number. And please don’t clean the keypad. I can see from the dirt on the buttons which buttons are used. And that makes it easier for me to find out the code.

Please don’t use motion sensors or lights with timers. I don’t like those. And if I hear the TV or the radio on, and especially if cars are in the driveway, it makes me think someone is home. So please don’t do that.

Also if you’re a gun owner, please put your NRA bumper sticker on your car or on the house window. I like to steal guns. So please advertise that you have them.

And leave some nice valuables in plain sight so I can see them by looking through a window. I like those new laptops and the iPads. And if you leave your car keys on a hook, and cars in the garage, it makes it real simple for me and I really appreciate that.

Thank you in advance for the help.

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